Mirror Image

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said "How could God possibly have made me look like this?" Personally I have realized how much I question that. There have been people in my life that have told me that I look ugly and stupid. These words have been etched in my mind so every time I look in a mirror I see what they said I was.

I have talked to many other people who say that others pick on them and criticize them for their looks. I know that many people look at someone else and say "I wish I could look like them." These are thoughts that will destroy you. If you think that you will end up wasting time trying to be like them and you will never get there. I know from personal experience that it doesn't work at all. You end up losing yourself trying to be more like everyone else.

If there is one thing I know for a fact is that God made you to look like, well, you. There is no other person on earth that is like you. Isn't that incredible? That you are the only you in the ENTIRE WORLD! Now tell me you don't feel better already. There are things about you that no one else has. You are special just the way you are so why would you want to lose that special gift God has given you?

There is a whole other aspect in why you would want to look like someone else or just "better". I know that there are a lot of people who go out of their way to make people like them. Mostly they change their appearance to make people like them more. I used to be one of these people. I tried many things to get rid of my acne (which at the time I felt like I was the only one with it, making it a curse or something). I tried making my hair look more stylish and dressed in "cooler" looking clothes. These things, in my mind, would change the way people think of me. I thought that if I looked good people would start liking me. Well to tell you the truth they did. I am not going to lie to you and tell you that it won't help you. However, the one thing I will tell you is that if they like you because of your looks, then are they really your friends? They only like you because of your appearance and not because of your personality. One quote that I like is "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." This quote says it perfectly. Those who care about the way you look like shouldn't matter because it is the personality that gets you friends. Those who don't care about your appearance are the ones that should matter because they can see beyond flesh and see your heart.

So the 5 points of your appearance are:
1. God made you the way you are.
2. The people who bring you down because of how you look are only insecure about themselves.
3. There is only one of you and you are made special.
4. People that mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
5. If you try to look like everyone else you will lose yourself and only hurting yourself more.

The next time you look into a mirror and say that you are ugly, think again. You are beautiful and handsome just the way you are. And guess what God loves the way and so do a lot of other people.

A Month Later

It has been a month and a day since I have posted last. I feel so terrible about not posting in so long. I have been extremely busy and I have been working on several big posts (things that people suggested). I will be posting them in the next week or so. Sorry for such a huge gap. Happy reading!

What is life?

The sound of my heart fills my ears, as I walk through the people filled streets. The sound of cars flashing past me with strangers driving to their unknown destinations. As I walk through the streets I see many types of people, people of color, business men and women, construction workers, and many other people. Through all the chaos that I am walking through I stop to think. What is the purpose of life? These cars that pass me by are going at great speeds to get to where they want. These people are all on their cellphones and bluetooths. These people surrounding me live for work live for money and possessions. Is this what life is about? Wealth? In the mitsed of these things going through my head I see a boy and his father. This boy is not an ordinary boy. This boy has special needs. His father loves him so much. This love is not the same love that these people of wealth have. This father has the greatest kind of love for his son. He would lay his own life down for the life of his son if he had to. Even though there is such joy and love in this picture the world goes on. The cars keep passing. The people keep walking. None of them see how precious this show of love is. I think once again. Is this not a example of how God loves us? That he is always there for us helping us and keeping us from danger? In this short moment God showed me that he is there. There for my needs there to help me. I walk by the father and son, smile, tell them thank you and proceed to walk. Walk with more purpose and an answer to the question of life.

There is a Plan

I grew up in a Christian home with two Christian parents. My parents were missionaries for a time being and we moved several times living in Idaho, Illinois, and Austria. I was saved at age 7 in Illinois. I have always gone to private Christian schools so I have not really had problems or opportunities with defending my faith. When I moved to South Carolina I started in 7th grade so it was a little hard, because I was coming in new right in the middle of middle school. Right off the bat I was bullied both physically and verbally. I was in constant fear of getting hurt and embarrassed. I considered myself a Christian at the time, but I kept thinking how was it possible for a God to be real when these supposed Christian kids were bullying me.

For the next 4 years I was bullied.  Things that were said are engraved in my mind to this day. I was told that I was ugly, pathetic, worthless, fat, and many other things. These things were, unfortunately, things that I believed and so they almost destroyed my self-image. The summer I was 13,  I went to Colombia, South America with my Dad on a mission trip. It was an awesome experience and it had an impact on my life.  Unfortunately, after about a couple months from getting back from the trip, I was back to the same routine, listening to the same lies and being bullied.

After 4 years in South Carolina I moved back to Illinois and again I started attending a private Christian school -- Christian Heritage Academy. The thing that was different in this new situation  -- different than being bullied in South Carolina -- was that I started lying to and about myself in order to be cooler.  I thought that this would make people like me.  Over the course of a few months I had many masks or lies in place...so many that it was hard for me to even know who I was. I had been failing classes and getting into trouble and other things, all in the name of being popular. Around Christmas time I felt so overwhelmed that I thought I could not live on. I thought about suicide, even though I didn't attempt. My best friend showed me that people like me for who I am and that I just need to show my better side, the side I was hiding. I guess God was talking through this person because it seemed like only God could pull me out of that depression. I decided then that I was going to stop my lies and sinful acts.  It lasted a while, but after about a week I went back to the lies. The year went by and I was still the same two-faced kid.

The last month before school was in, I got to go on a trip with my youth group called Lightrider. This trip was really fun because we went to New York City, the Jersey Shore, and white-water rafting. Not only was it fun, though, it was also life changing. One of the Lightrider crew, Kevin, talked about how when we lie or don't let go of a sin it is like adding bungees to your belt. The more bungees you have, the more tension there is which results in less ability to move around. This really caught me and it felt like God was saying you need to stop adding bungees. I went to the lower deck of the bus and talked to Sam, my youth leader, and I confessed all the things I had been hiding. I felt free!  I decided to recommit my life to the Lord. I also decided to go to GBN, a non-christian public school. This was a big decision for me.  I felt that if I stayed in a Christian school the rest of my life I would not have the opportunities to stand up for my faith.  I didn't want to fall back into the same routine as before. I had never been in a public school (since 1st grade) so this was a big step of faith.  School has started and for the past couple of weeks I have had many different tests. I have been asked questions about my sexual morals; why I believe in God; what is Christianity; why don't I swear and many others things. Already this has helped me grow in my faith because I have had to stand up for what I believe in.  This has also made me be diligent to read my Bible.  I want to have the knowledge I need  in order to be able to explain what I believe.

I have been teased for what I believe but I feel like in order to grow I have to stand up for what is right and what I believe to be true. My new life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 which says, " For I know the plans that I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  This verse encourages me that no matter what goes on in my life, how many times I move, how many times I switch schools, what my past looks like or what I have done, He has a plan for my life.

I hope that my testimony encouraged you --  that I was able to show that no matter what is going on in your life, God has a plan for you and me, all you need to do is trust in Him.

Milk Money

Most of us have watched a scene from a movie or a show where a kid is being bullied for something. The kid is picked on because he or she is different than everyone else. There are many different types of bullying, but I want to focus on two major ones. Physical abuse in bullying is number one. Physical abuse can go anywhere from poking a kid to punching or actually being beaten up. Physical bullying not only hurts the kid physically but also makes him/her feel less of a person because they can't stop the people from hurting them. I was punched, spat at, knocked over, and many other things. This showed me that I couldn't defend myself. This hurt me because I felt like I was always vulnerable; always a target. This made me very cautious and always scared.  Physical bullying not only hurts physically but it changes how you act and see yourself.

Verbal bullying is the thing I feel is the worst type of bullying. This type of bullying not only is extremely hurtful to the person being bullied, but it also affects the way they carry themselves and/or think about themselves. The words that are used against them can, over time, make the bullied individual feel like the words are true. In my personal experience verbal bullying hurt my self image. I was told many things from being ugly and worthless to things I can't repeat. Most of these things, for the past 5+ years, I have believed. I thought that what they said was true. It changed the way I talk about myself and how I look at myself, all because of what they said.   You can see that verbal abuse can literally destroy a person's view of themselves and life's outlook. This is why we hear about Columbine-type tragedies and suicide. Kids that are bullied sometimes feel like life isn't worth living, or worse, that the ones responsible should pay.

I ask you, if you see any type of bullying, stand up and tell them to stop. If you can stop it at the beginning there is less chance of hurt and pain. Doing your part to stop bullying is definitely a big task, but if we all help in our own little ways we can change the atmosphere around us. Next time you see a bullying situation, stand up!  You may have just saved a life.

Cave Dwellers

In my English class we are reading "The Allegory of the Cave," by Plato. We've discussed different ways as to what it meant. When we were doing this I had a personal discovery of what it meant to me. If you are interested in reading more, please go to the following site and read the excerpt (http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/platoscave.html). This will take a few minutes to read and then read the following points about the story.

Insights from class and teacher:

1. It says that you can't believe unless you see first or explore. Meaning:  seeing is believing and you can't believe without seeing.
2. You can't just tell someone something and expect them to believe. You have to prove it so they can believe.

3. Someone's perspective may restrict their ability to believe. In other words, the way someone looks at something may or may not change the difficulty of them trying to believe.

Insights from me:

1. Knowledge is power and we have the power to change the world.

2. Everyone has the capacity to understand the existence of God but the person has to have the attitude to want to discover Him and understand or at least try to understand.
3. People are looking into the darkness so darkness is all they know. How can they really understand the concept of an Almighty God who sheds His light?
4. The world shows us shadows or pictures which is all we know, but outside is a beautiful life full of better things.

To sum all of this up:

Everyone on this earth was created by God but because of the world and its corruptness, we can only see the darkness. Some of us have been taken out of that darkness by God and have been shown the truth of reality. At first it hurts because our own views and beliefs are crushed, but over time we grow accustomed to the change and even welcome it. We see all things outside of the darkness and want to tell others. Some people will believe and be set free. Others will think that we are confused and tell us that we are wrong. We need to realize that some people are like the prisoners in the cave. Because they have lived in darkness all of their lives, they may not believe. We can expect that from them because they don't know anything but the darkness before them. We need to keep telling them and showing them that there is more out there than just what they see before them. Maybe with our efforts, people will come to realize that there is something bigger and better out there. As long as we all do our part, God will do the rest.

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Just Say No

Have you ever been asked a question that you were reluctant to answer? Though you were reluctant, did you feel like, by answering it, you would be able to share what you believe? Well, today during lunch I was sitting down and a group of kids sat next to me. I knew these kids before and knew what they talked about but they pulled me into what they were talking about this time. They asked me, because they knew I have a girlfriend, whether I have had sex with her. (I may know what you are thinking as a reader, "Oh no! He said sex!"  If done within marriage it is a beautiful thing. God did not make this a part of life for us not to enjoy it, as long as it is done within marriage. Also it is a very good thing to know where you stand.) Now this scared me. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't know what they would say. I then realized I should answer their questions and just stand with my beliefs. I said that I had not and that I didn't plan on it either. One of the kids was shocked. He also asked if I had done anything less than sex (if you catch my drift) and I said no, because I don't believe it is right. All the guys were astonished, but they also said they respected that.
Have you ever had an experience similar to this? What did you do? I do believe whole-heartedly that no matter what type of sexual activity it is, it's wrong outside of marriage. God designed sex to be between a man and a woman who are married and committed to each other. I suggest talking to a Christian youth leader, parent, or grandparent on what they believe on this subject.   Find out what the Bible says too. It is very good to know where you stand on something like this. There will be a time in which you may be asked what you believe. There are other people out there that believe what you believe. Stand strong for what you believe in.

Tunnel

Have you ever had a point in your life where you seemed to have no hope or no reason to go on -- like you are stuck in a dark enclosed tunnel? Many people go through these times in their life where they think their life is pointless and that they'd be better off dead. I had a time like that in my life where it seemed like everything was crashing down. I was getting bad grades in school, I was getting in trouble, I was lying about myself, home life was rough, and I was having difficulty with my dating relationship. There are many reasons why people go through things like this. It could be stress with relationships, school, job, home, bullies, teachers, grades, etc.. Here's the catch though - have you ever been in a tunnel that never ends?  No, that is clearly impossible. The same goes with depression; it can't and won't last forever. When I went into depression I thought it wouldn't get better, that life wasn't worth living. I realized though, through my girlfriend, that there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better. I saw that she needed me and I saw, that if I were to die, how hard it would be for the ones around me that care about me. I also realized that God can help, through prayer.  He can help you get through anything. Now don't think that you should only pray when you are in time of need. God likes prayers that just say thanks, just like we like people saying thanks for something we did for them. So when, in life, you get down, just know that there are people around you that love you; you have a purpose for your life, and there is a God to help you. All you have to do is ask.

I would really like comments so I can better my writing. Thanks!

A Toucan in a Seagull World

I have been going to GBN for the past two weeks now and the feel is quite different than that of a Christian school. I decided to come to GBN not only to strengthen my academics, but also to strengthen my faith. The first whole week I would find myself being asked where I was from and why I transferred; mostly routine things you get when at a new school. Several times I told people that I have moved 16 times in my life and that this was my third high school. Now when I said that, they would ask what my dad did for a job. This is one thing that caught me off guard. My dad is trying to get his Ph.D in Old Testament studies.  When I was asked that question I knew in my heart that I should say the full truth, but what I found myself doing was just saying that he was getting his Ph. D in something but that I didn't know what it was. I knew in my head that if I told them the truth they would write me off as one of those "christian freaks" and I didn't want to start out on the wrong foot. Well, a week went by, and I realized that I had failed at one of the reasons I decided to go to GBN. I was not standing up for my faith. I realized then that I needed to be true to what I believe in and stand up for it. It wasn't an accident that I had an opening to go to GBN; God placed things in motion to help me be bold and stand up for what I believe in. The title of this post describes what we must do. The people around us all look the same--trying to impress people, get wealthy, and be somebody. Everyone is a seagull.  We can stand up for what we believe in and put ourselves out there, but we are going to attract attention. People will look at you strangely for what you believe in. Your view will be exotic and strange to them like you are from a different world, just like a toucan. So, there is the choice of either being like everyone else and going with the flow, playing it safe, or there is the choice to stand up for what is right and what you believe in. You have the choice to change the world around you and the God to back you up.

I hope you liked my post. If you would like to comment about the writing that would be great. Also if you have pointers that would be great also. Thanks for visiting my blog. Have a great day.